Smokey does not like me. He admitted to me that after my tirades he stopped being attracted to me.
I don’t blame him one bit. He is not in the wrong. If someone spoke to me the way I did him, I would have left a long time ago.
I asked him why didn’t he tell me that when I kept telling him I liked him. He said “Oh stop. I just hoped you were over that.” I told him “Okay. I see” He told me I will be okay and that he is sure of that and that he needs to take his children to their lessons and he’ll be back.
I don’t want him back. I need to go.
But, it’s okay. It’s a liberating thing for me. I can find someone who likes me. Fuck who everyone. Focus on school and work. He did tell me that I need to eliminate distractions and blaze my own path. I am not saying I’m gonna eliminate him from my life as my friend just because I am bitter that he doesn’t like me anymore. I am just gonna keep my distance.
Now it’s official. Every man I cared for in 2016 is a part of my past. Now I got some months to fuck shit up and do what I want.